The Punisher Movie Review
I’m reviewing one of those terrible old marvel movies and this time, it is The Punisher which was released in 1989. And hey, this is actually better than Captain America 1990 so that’s something. So let’s begin the review! Okay so let’s start off this review by talking about this version of The Punisher himself.
This Punisher is basically discount Batman who looks like discount Poe Dameron. I don’t care about the character of The Punisher in the first place since I have never read The Punisher comics and this movie made me care even less about this character. Also, what’s up with him looking so bored all the time… He looked so bored! Just like I was while watching this terrible movie. And you want to know my favorite moment of this movie? The opening credits! Yeah, out of the entire movie the opening credits was my favorite moment because at least it was somewhat creative and kind of soothing or maybe the right word to use would be hypnotic. I dunno, but I sure did like it. But the thing is, you know there’s something wrong with your movie when someone says that their favorite moment of the entire movie was the opening credits. But to be honest, The Punisher’s bike was actually pretty cool and I really liked the image of The Punisher riding it, I guess.
There’s also a cool scene where The Punisher is surrounded by flames and he slowly merges with the smoke and disappears in front of the eyes of many keen eyed reporters. Okay so now let’s talk about the main villain of this movie who is a Japanese Yakuza or something. Overall, she’s okay but I hated how she had that Japanese facemask and was doing a Japanese dance near the end of this movie. Does this movie think that all Japanese people have Japanese dancing in their everyday routine? I mean, maybe the villain herself likes dancing a lot and just does it daily but still, I found that really unnecessary. And she was a pretty good villain for an old Marvel movie, actually. Way better than the joke that was the Red Skull in the 1990 Captain America movie.
She at least does not strap people to a rocket to kill them or something crazy like that. Her killing methods are short and simple and way less crazy and that’s a good thing. Her army of ninjas were also pretty cool and it was a breath of fresh air. Because most minions have guns and all so to see some minions with swords instead of guns was really nice. However, what was not nice was how easily they got defeated but what am I even expecting, they are minions, after all. Okay so now let’s talk about the final battle.
The Punisher and the other guy just wrecks through the first couple of minions and it’s just the cliche “hero defeats minions” stuff but it really gets interesting when the lights go completely red. The battle scenes with that red light thing were somewhat creative and hey, The Punisher actually got a real challenge during this red light thing. I was really surprised to see that SOMEONE was finally giving a real challenge to The Punisher. But while the Mini Boss battle was super tough, the real boss battle was not.
This movie had built up the villain so much and had made her look so intimidating but she got defeated so easily by The Punisher! He threw a small knife or something at her forehead and she instantly died. I was seriously expecting her to come back to life in a jumpscare or something like many other villains do but nope. She did not. Yes, that would be cliche but at least the villain would be defeated in a satisfying way. Even her minions got defeated in better ways. This was disappointing and pathetic. Rating- 5/10. The Punisher – S2